Relationships are great for the soul, and being with someone you love is one of the most wonderful things you can ever experience. But can you be sure your man loves you and accepts you unconditionally, and accepts you as you are?
Find out how to see whether he actually loves you for you, or is just around when things are good, waiting until someone better comes along. Is he using me? Does he really love me? Hopefully, it’s love, but let’s take a look at some of the five things that may give the game away!
#5— Are They Only There for the Good Times?
Beware if your partner is only around during the fun, flirtatious, easy-breezy times of the relationship. Life doesn’t always go to plan, so if he’s serious and is into you for you, he will stick around when the going gets tough too. This is the time you will find out if he cares about you. You will see that you’re supported and loved unconditionally, and have a shoulder to lean on during tough times.
Think back on how your partner has acted recently. Does he pay attention or show any empathy when you’re trying to discuss a serious matter that’s causing stress in your life? Or does he only show up when you’re happy and carefree?
Does your partner find fault and criticize you when you don’t look or act perfect?
#4— Are You a Secret Girlfriend?
Dating in secret can happen when you don’t fit his ideal image, and he doesn’t want to be seen with you. It’s not you; he’s the one with the problem! Start looking out for signs that suggest he isn’t proud to be out socially with you.
Do you go out with or visit his friends, family members or even co-workers? Have you ever been invited to meet up with them?
If you think there’s a problem, ask him if you can all hang out together. Then at another time, invite him to come out with some of your friends, and see how he reacts to the invitation.
If he is hesitant, be honest about the matter and call him out immediately: “What’s the problem? Are you embarrassed to be seen out with me? Are you too good for me? Why don’t you ever want to go out with me and my friends?” And for good measure:” Am I too good for you?” – I think you know the answer to that one.
#3— Does He Compliment You Freely and Openly?
Go out in public with him and see how he reacts when approaching a crowd of people, or when you are about to meet his friends on the street.
Is he using me by indulging in “closed relationship behavior”? This could be the case when your man has the chance to introduce you as his “girlfriend” but makes no effort to do this and leaves you standing there awkwardly.
If a committed relationship is important to you, make him sit down and ask him directly what he wants. Make sure you know where you stand in his priorities, so you don’t waste time and effort on something that may be going nowhere.
#2— Have You Met His Friends?
Meeting friends should happen fairly early in a relationship. If you aren’t being invited to events, ask yourself why is this happening?
Find out more about his friends. If he hesitates, say, “I’d love to meet your best friends that you always talk about. When can we grab a drink?” Give him a week or so to organize a meal or visit to a bar. If your partner doesn’t or is reluctant or needs too much reminding, be suspicious about his intentions.
#1— It’s Up to You…
Tell him what you will and won’t tolerate. Don’t allow your partner to create a secret girlfriend out of you. Be proud and insist on some respect by having a normal open relationship.
Is he being totally honest with you? Look for indicators like being secretive about his life, or being unable to see you for days at a time. Can you always contact him, or does he not want you contacting him for other reasons?
Remember, you only have one life, so don’t settle for a relationship that’s not fantastic! Insist that you appreciate honesty and integrity in your relationship, and set the standard for him to accept or reject. You’re not there just for his pleasure, so keep asking “Is he using me?” and not giving me the love and attention I need and deserve.
Is He Using Me, Or Does He Love Me?
Life is too short to waste your time on a relationship that’s going nowhere with someone who doesn’t want the same things that you do. If you can learn to read the signs, try to figure out what he really wants from a relationship. Assert what you’re not willing to tolerate, then if he wants to make it work, you’ll have the happiest relationship possible.
